


Mission Myth Intervention

by lady_krysis (saekhwa)



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate universe - Mythbusters, M/M, POV Outsider, Ridiculous, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-28
Updated: 2012-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-30 05:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saekhwa/pseuds/lady_krysis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Losers have a show like Mythbusters, and Jensen stages an intervention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission Myth Intervention

**Author's Note:**

  * For [storm_petrel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_petrel/gifts).



> So this is what happens when a Mythbusters marathon becomes a completely-engrossing time sink for several hours.

Jensen drops the papers onto the work table. "Aisha won't approve it," he says.

Clay pushes the papers out of his way and finds a bolt beneath the sheets, probably for the robot that he's building to test the myth about electricity. "File it through again."

Jensen snorts. "'Cause that always works."

"Just do it."

"Fine."

~*~

When Aisha says no — _again_ , which Jensen knew was going to happen — he sends Pooch to drop the papers on Clay's work table and watches from the sidelines, where he happens to be working. He dresses Buster in some coveralls and goggles 'cause eye protection is important. 

"Aisha said no," Pooch says, but Clay shoves the papers aside in search of something or other. No telling what. Jensen thinks Clay's making it up just so he won't have to look at the papers. "Clay."

"Heard you."

Pooch snatches up the hammer that Clay's reaching for. "We're going to have to talk to Wade."

Clay's expression darkens, eyes going as narrow as the slant of his mouth. "Wade's an asshole."

"Look, man—"

"Find a demolitions expert," Aisha says, heels clicking loudly on the concrete floor. She tosses more papers onto his desk. "Here's a list, so stop bitching."

No one argues with her, least of all Clay. As the producer, she's paying all of their salaries, after all.

~*~

When they get to the field that's specially reserved for blowing shit up, Clay is wearing his pissed off face. Time, unfortunately, is of the essence and that means dealing with Wade until they can find another expert.

Clay and Wade have history, but none of the guys have asked. Jensen thinks it might have something to do with Clay's Army days. Either way, they all have a nice policy of don't ask and just agree that Wade's an asshole and minimize working with him. The hard part is the fact that the show pretty much runs on explosions. When they manage to blow up a car or a porta potty, that's when they get the highest ratings. This means, of course, going to see Wade so he can ensure everything blows up safely and no one gets blown _up_. 

"So," Jensen says, when Clay's stalked off and there's enough distance that he won't catch a stray word. "Twenty bucks says Clay's going to knock Wade out in five."

"Five minutes?" Pooch snorts, shakes his head, and pulls out his wallet. After a quick search in the fold, he says, "Two minutes tops."

Cougar shakes his head. "Thirty seconds."

"Uh-uh," Jensen says. "Put up or shut up, man. What're you throwing in?"

The sixty bucks that Cougar pulls from his pocket effectively shuts Jensen up. He's sort of wishing he'd bet lower when he sees a guy cross the field.

"Uh," he says. This is supposed to be a closed set, so either someone has seriously fucked up here or they need better security. Whatever the answer, Aisha's sharp, pointy heels are going to be the figurative boot to someone's ass. 

Jensen squints and stares harder, because staring long enough always produces answers. It works for the myths anyway. 

"Anyone wanna take bets on who that is?" Pooch asks. 

Jensen shakes his head. "Not a clue."

Even Cougar's staring, looking the guy up and down, getting the measure of him in a matter of seconds. Jensen takes a look around the group, and it's obvious that: one, they don't know who the guy is, and two, it looks like he's supposed to be there, because Clay's not trying to drag his ass off the field.

Clay motions at the guys, and Jensen gives a little wave. Unfortunately, Clay's not hip to the nonverbal gesture of, _Hey, what's up? Tell us what's going on_. They're still working on Clay catching a clue. 

After about five minutes, Jensen decides he's going to go over there to get some answers, but that's when Clay and the guy begin walking over.

"Finally," Jensen mumbles under his breath.

The guy says, "Roque," and extends a hand, first to Cougar, because Cougar's suddenly stepping in front of Jensen. Jensen's just glad Cougar never uses his power for evil (i.e., cock blocking). 

Clay's pissed off expression has now been replaced by a shit-eating grin. "He's our new demolitions expert."

~*~

No one knows what happened to Wade, and Jensen's not inclined to ask. When a guy makes a living as a demolitions expert, it's probably safe to say that something did not go well.

So Roque is added to the go-to list of experts that they keep on file, and it ends up changing everything. 

Suddenly, Clay _can't stop_ blowing shit up. It's getting a little out of hand if anyone were to ask Jensen, not that anyone is.

So when it's just him, Cougar, and Pooch in the shop, he says, "Hey."

"No," Pooch says, and Cougar seems to agree as he tinkers with the stand that'll automatically fire the rifle for the next myth. Something about how far bullets can travel underwater. Jensen would pay more attention, but Clay's influx of bomb-happy myths has been distracting. He wants to blow shit up, too. It's a perk of the job. 

"You don't even know—" Jensen protests.

Pooch shoves a wrench into his hand. "No."

"It's—"

"Finish the rig, Jensen."

Jensen grumbles, but he finishes the rig in record time. Then they have to test the rig _and_ the rifle and figure out who has a pool big enough so they can test the myth and who's going to give them access, because they're the guys from that show that teach kids how to love science. They get a lot of donated space that way, and it seems to make Aisha happier, which is always a plus.

By the time they're done with rigging and testing and filming, Jensen's too exhausted to remember what the hell he was going to ask. 

The cameras are gone, and since Jensen is lone man standing, he has to shut off the lights. He makes a circuit around the shop to make sure all the machines and any electric devices have been turned off and pats Buster on the head. Poor guy's looking a little worse for wear, and as Jensen is ruminating on the tragedy of this, he spots a shaft of light peeking down the hall where they've set up some haphazard offices. 

Jensen sighs and heads that way, and he's caught blinking stupidly when he sees Roque. _In the shop._ Which would be shocking enough, but no. Jensen has the added shock of catching Roque making out with Clay, full on kissing and groping, and Jensen can't backpedal fast enough.

Clay can do whatever he likes, but the shop is sacred territory.

This calls for another intervention. 

~*~

"Yo," Jensen says, and is holding a wrench so no one can interrupt him. "We've gotta talk about this guy Roque."

"What about Roque?"

Jensen freezes. Shit. He forgot about checking to make sure Clay had run off to blow shit up and wasn't standing right behind him. 

So Jensen turns around and faces this head on. "All your myths, Clay."

"They're getting us the ratings."

Jensen nods. He can't deny it. "Right. But you and this guy Roque."

"Don't go there, Jensen," Pooch mutters. 

Pooch should understand, though. Jensen is concerned by this unsettling habit Clay has of going after people who can seriously injure him. History proves that this has not ended well, and a demolitions expert is a scary upgrade. Roque could rig a bomb that would ensure there were no leftover body parts to clean up, and maybe he'd consider the crew collateral damage, a final kick to the nuts in punishment for Clay being an asshole. Or whatever Clay does to piss off all of the people that he sleeps with. 

The pause provided by Pooch's interruption, however, allows Jensen to switch gears and go for casual to prove to everyone that he has tact. "You guys good?"

Clay looks behind Jensen, probably shooting a nonverbal question to Pooch, maybe Cougar, since they're both back there. 

Whatever answer he gets, it ends with him shaking his head. "Get back to work, Jensen."

Jensen brandishes the wrench as proof that he is, in fact, working.

~*~

Up close, Roque looks dangerous. Jensen has learned to identify Clay's type, and this does not console him. 

"He's got a scar!" Jensen says, but Cougar and Pooch seem to be ignoring him. "It's big!"

"Hand me that roll of duct tape," Pooch says, and Jensen sighs, but grabs the bag.

He doesn't think duct tape really requires a series of myths all its own. He's pretty much proven several times that duct tape is the solution to most problems. 

Every problem except Clay dating people capable of killing him. 

~*~

Jensen is very careful not to search too deeply through the shop when he's the last guy to leave. He's spotted Roque a few times, and he doesn't want to think about Clay and Roque fucking over every surface imaginable. He works here, and turning the shop into some cheesy porno love shack can't be sanitary working conditions. Jensen considers filing a complaint, but he'd never throw Clay under the bus like that. Or as it were, Aisha's Mazda.

"So hey," Jensen says, one afternoon while they're reviewing some fan-submitted myths. "Do you think maybe I can blow some shit up, too? I kinda miss that part of the job."

Pooch throws his pencil at Jensen, and it almost hits him in the eye. "Ow. Not cool, bro, not cool."

Pooch shakes his head and throws Cougar's pen at him next. It bounces off Jensen's chest. "I'm trying to save your ass from shoving that foot any deeper into your mouth before Clay shoves it up your ass."

Jensen frowns, shooting a look at Clay while he considers the logistics of that maneuver. "I don't think that's—"

"Not the point, Jensen."

Jensen can't help but grin. "Come on, dude, we don't need testing to say that myth would be so busted."


End file.
